Wow, where do I begin? I am going to try and keep this short, so meat and potatoes it is. Being a dad is one of the greatest and hardest jobs we have as men. Many are called and few are chosen to become great dads. I will be the first to admit that I myself still have work to do to be one of the great ones, but I am trying to be better. Where are you on the dad spectrum? Be honest or you will never get better. Besides, the only people you will be hurting are your kids, not anyone else.
When your kids were born, were you excited, scared or bummed out? Your answer has already been declared by the way you treat and spend time with your kids now. Are you being stereotypical dad, who goes to work everyday just to come home and tell his kids he needs personal time and not to bother you? Or are you excited to see and spend time with your kids when you return home? Are you helping your kids with homework? Are you taking time to play and do the activities they are interested in?
Here is an activity you can do with your kids to see how they think you are doing as a dad. Basically you are going to ask them questions about you and them, and how they feel about different things. Here are some sample questions to think about. Does dad know who your friends are? What was the last thing you and dad did together? Did dad give you a hug today? Has dad helped you with anything lately? These are just a few of many questions you can ask your kids to see how they feel about the job you are doing. Heck, you can just straight up ask them if you are doing a good or bad job and why? They will be happy to tell you.
Spending quality time with our kids is probably the number one thing we should be focusing on. Spending time with them doing activities they enjoy goes further than anything else you can do. It is greater than buying them gifts, or giving them money. If you are not using your money to spend quality time with your kids, they don’t care how much you make, because all they see and think is that making money is more important to you than they are.
Bonding with our children will create love, friendship and everlasting memories you can share with one another throughout your lives together. Bonding lets your kids know they are important to you and that you love them. Bonding is what helps them have trust In you. It helps them know they can come to you when they need to, rather than looking elsewhere when problems arise. Bonding is why moms have better relationships with their kids than dads do. This is fact, unless you are a single dad and you are rocking it.
I know our main focus is always going to be providing for our families, which means working our guts out to make the best life we can with the current jobs we have. Sometimes we have multiple jobs which makes it that much harder. But as long as we can make an effort to spend some time with our kids and let them know we love them, it will go a long way. Kids just want to know that you see them and that you care about them. Doing something no matter how small it is, is always better than doing nothing.
Take a minute to think about your schedule and your routine. Are your kids a part of it at anytime? If not, work on finding a way to have them a part of your schedule everyday. Find time to give them a hug, find time to play. Find time to have them show you something they are making. Find time to read them a book or snuggle in bed with them. The window of time we have grows shorter everyday. Don’t miss out on creating the relationship you want with them by not finding time to spend it with them.
No one is saying you or I are bad dads, they are just saying we need to be more aware of the time we need to spend with our kids bonding. I am going to make more of an effort to do my part, what about you?
