The topic that makes most men uneasy when women bring it up is that of children. Now I am not referring to conversation that are happening between married couples. Although even then some guys are running for the hills! I am referring more to the conversation that will scare a guy away when you are just first dating them.
Kids are a hard thing, especially when you are just getting out of the teen years yourself. You’re like Dude! I am still having fun living like a kid and you want to talk to me about having some! Yeah, that’s why you freak guys out. Most guys ares still trying to get their life in order let alone thinking about helping a smaller version of themselves survive!
One piece of advice that I give to everyone I know, that is just getting married is. Give your self 3-5 years together, before you decide to bring children into the picture. Yes I know that there are a lot of people that want to hurry and start a family. Even so, I would still suggest that you wait. You are needing a period of time for the two of you to grow together and form a stronger relationship than you already have. You might think that you have an awesome relationship, but guess what? When you bring another person that you are responsible for into that relationship, everything and I mean everything changes! The lives that you once had is not longer the same. You now have to alter everything that you use to do to revolve around the new person in your life. That includes the things that you use to do together.
With this huge change in your life, the dynamics of your relationship automatically changes. It is out of your control. Things you do and say will be altered forever. At least until your kids move out and you are alone once again. With that, that is why I tell new couples to wait and have some time to themselves so that they can live, learn and grow together, before having to do it with another person, or two, or three, or four.
Now raising kids is a whole other thing as well. We all come from differing homes of what is expected in the terms of responsibility and discipline. This is something that should also be discussed prior to having children, and not just winging it. Problems arise when you just wing it! Take the youth of today, I believe that many parents have either gone to one extreme of either not caring, wanting to do the opposite of their parents or they are just winging it. Because as you see the dynamic of what our youth are doing and what they are capable of doing, and it’s kind of shocking. Everything the rest of us were taught is non existent and it’s crazy. There is no accountability, no discipline, no self worth or pride in being diligent or hard working. It is all about me me me and what everyone thinks of me on social media. I am scared for our future, unless something changes. But I have a feeling that our world will be on its hands and knees begging for change before any actually happen. We will have to hit rock bottom as a society before anything changes.
Let’s do our part when it comes to kids. Talk about it, make a plan. Get on the same page as one another. Decide when, how and why, then execute your plan when you are ready. not because it was by mistake or an accident. We are responsible for what we bring into this world and not only how it affects ourselves, but how it will affect everyone around us. We are better than this and we can do great things. We just need to participate responsibly. Do your part, have a great family and be happy!