Dating - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

At one point in our lives we have all been on a date that went great!  We have also been on dates where we wished that we did not go on it.  Then there are those that no matter how hard we try we can never get them out of out head because it was just so horrifyingly bad!  You know the one that I am talking about!

The question is now, how are your dates going now that you have been in a relationship for some time?   For those of you that have been married for multiple years, does dating even exist?  Dating can be a tricky thing for those that have been in a relationship for a long time.  Things change that cause us to fall out of the habit of going out.  Either we become to comfortable, or lazy, maybe the luster is no longer there.  Either way we stop dating the one that we love and we lose a little bit of the romance that comes from that part of the relationship.

The Good part about dating is what it brings to your relationship.  There is so much that happens when you take your partner out for some alone time.  One you are rekindling the magic in your relationship.  There is just something about dressing up and going out one on one that you don't get in any other setting.  Especially for those that have kids!  That in itself is a reward!  Dating gives you an opportunity to see the person that you feel in love with.  It reminds us of why we loved spending time together to begin with.  Most relationships start with a date and we kindle the flames into a full burning relationship.  So why not stoke the flames every now and then.  Dating gives you the opportunity to communicate.  Communicating is an critical part of any relationship and you need to do more of it outside of deciding what to eat or who's turn it is to take care of a kid.  We have so much more to talk about with one another, and this is a great time to do it.  Dating allows you to spend quality time together.  Sitting on the couch, or laying in bed next to one another does not count.  You need to do something that allows to interact outside of the daily mundane habits.  Dating will uplift you and fill your soul with joy and love for one another, and help you to create new moments and memories that will keep the fire burning within.

The Bad part of dating is that you may not enjoy it like you once did.  Why?  The excitement of dating a new person is always the driving force behind dating.  The butterflies in your stomach the nervousness you feel, along with the sweaty palms.  It's all apart of the experience.  Now that you have been together for awhile, most if not all of those feelings are gone.  You may also not date the same as you once did.  What I am referring to is, the kind of dates that you are actually going on.  The worst date anyone can go on is dinner and a movie.  The reason for this, is because for half the date you are not even interacting with the other person, which is the whole point of going on a date.  Now do that after being together for awhile and it defeats the purpose of going on a date, unless you are just trying to get away from the kids.  But if you are going to do dinner and a movie it would be the same as if you did Netflix and Chill at home.  You get nothing out of it.  You need to make it fun and adventurous as you once did when everything was exciting a new.  Find fun things to go do as a couple or you will get in a rut of doing the same boring thing and then just stop dating.

The Ugly part of dating is the part that we all need to avoid.  Dating is meant to be a fun and happy time that creates new fond memories of one another.  It's a time that we can relax and not worry or stress about things in our everyday lives.  Dating for long term relationships get ugly when they go from being fun to outright awful.  How many of you have seen or known someone that has ever gotten into a fight while on a date?  Once this happens everything that you were trying to accomplish is ruined.  You should never put yourself in a place during your date that it should end in a fight.  Even before you go on your date, if one of you is not in the right frame of mind you might want to reschedule the date.  Once you have a fight on a date, it  taints the experience and you may never go on another one again.  People do not want to go out just to fight.  These are truly the ugly parts of a bad date.

Dating is a great way for you to rekindle the magic with the one you love.  It's a great way to have quality time together.  Creating memories is always a bonus.  Make it fun, find new adventures to go on with one another.  Do something outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do the same things every time you go out.  If you have to down load the "Decide Now" App and allow it to pick your dinner and your activity to keep it interesting then do it!  There are so many things you can do to have fun and make memories.  Think about taking turns planning the date night.  It gets hard when only one person it always trying to think of new things.  This way, the ideas are always different.  

Remember, have fun, communicate, create memories, and most of all, love the time that you have together!

Jeremy EvertsComment