This is a topic that is not discussed very much, and I am not sure why. When in reality it should be discussed a lot more. If you are asking why, then it’s perhaps you have not had a step parent in your life. Unfortunately, the most common time you hear about step parents is when there are allegations against them for how they were treating children. And this is what I am wanting to discuss in this blog
Sadly, you rarely hear about how awesome a step parent is in someones life. Generally, it is how horrible they are, and how they have treated children. But, are all the allegations against them justlfied? Most children are never going to accept a new parent figure into their lives like nothing was different. With that, many children are going to give some form of push back when having a new parent in their life telling them what to do, how to act and what they can and cannot do day to day.
Something else to consider is the age of the children at which time a new parent becomes a part of their lives. Younger children are going to have a harder time accepting a new parent compared to if the children are adults. The understanding of relationships and life are greatly different pending on the age and experience of the children. Although, there can still be issues with a new parent even if the children are adults, and just like being a younger child, it can affect them by how they are treated or how they are treating their parent.
When it comes to step parents mistreating the children of the person they became involved with, it really bothers me as I hope it bothers many of you. There have been reports of all kinds when it comes to step parents mistreating children. Anywhere from verbal, and physical abuse to sexual abuse and even locking kids in room and cages. How horrific is that, and how is the biological parent ok with that or not knowing about any of it? I know depending on the age and experience, children can be scared and manipulated by adults into not saying anything, but as a parent you should be able to pick up on signs and see the changes within your child’s behavior.
This brings us back to childhood trauma that I previously discussed. This sucks! I know that it is traumatizing and hard to overcome, but you can do it. If you know of someone that has been through any of this and you can help them, please do. We all can use a friend to help us through these dark times. Let’s help others move past the childhood trauma they experienced, so they can have a better life.
So my question to you now is. If you had a step parent or parents, how were you treated? Or, how are you being treated now? It doesn’t matter your age, step parents can still affect us at any stage of our lives. I have had 4 step parents in my life, two on each side. I can tell you that I have been affected by all four of them in one fashion or another. If you ready my book What’s Your Story, you will get an idea of exactly how they affected me and my life. Know this, there are some great step parents out there doing a great job, and then there are the ones that want nothing to do with you, but it is not a reflection of who you are. It is a reflection of who they are as a person.
If you ever find yourself in the position of being a step parent, I hope you take account of your life, what you have experienced and what you can offer being a parent to someone that is not biologically yours. No matter the parenting situation, you play a role in that child’s life and you have influence over them. You can be the person that makes or breaks a child depending on how you treat them.
