Stop Looking

Face it, we have all been guilty of it at one time or another. Some more often that others, but we have all done it and probably will continue to do it. It’s our carnal nature to do so. Men have a wandering eye that is always on the lookout for something. For some it may be cars, for others it’s clothing and accessories, some pieces of art. But for most it is the female form.

In most circumstances it is not a big deal, because let’s face it women do it too. They may not talk about it as much as men or at least with in a public setting, but they do it too. Most of the time we look and admire from afar and it’s not big deal. The problems start when you are committed in a relationship especially marriage and it becomes more than just looking. It’s not that you allow you eyes to wander, that’s a given, it’s when you start to act after the look.

Like I said we all look, but if we are committed, we probably should not be acting on what we are looking at. There is more than one way of acting, just to clarify. The first act is the thought! If you start to have carnal thoughts for someone that you are not committed to, you need to do something quick! You either need to quickly change what you are doing to avoid these thoughts, or you are needing to evaluate the relationship you are in currently. If you are in a good relationship you would simply admire the form you are looking at and not have any thoughts of acting upon it. It’s respectful to both the person you are with and it’s respectful to the person that you are admiring.

Beyond think about another person is to physically act upon the thoughts that you are having. You have now moved into the begning stages of cheating or committing adultery. Neither one of these is a good place to be in if you are in a committed relationship. This is why I have the phrase, Stop Looking for the BBD! No I do not want you to stop looking for Bel Biv Devo. You can look for them. Although they did say it best in their song “ Poison” . The BBD refers to the Bigger, Better Deal. If the person you are with is everything that you wanted and you have it, stop looking at other people! There is no reason to step over dollars to pick up quarters! You have a fantastic person in your life, start recognizing that and nurture the relationship.

There are too many people in good relationships that ruin them by looking for the BBD. If you don’t want to be committed to someone then don’t get into a committed relationship! Stay single and play the field. Because if you are looking around for the BBD, then that’s what you are doing. Stop torturing the person you are with by wasting their time and playing games with both their mind and heart. They deserve better and you should not be in a relationship if that is what you are doing.

Something to think about. Just because something looks good on the surface does not mean that it is not ugly on the inside. Maybe the grass that is greener on the other side is actually fertilized by manure. Maybe what you are looking at is a bag full of crazy. You never know what you are going to get in this world today. Hold on to what you have and make it the best that you can. It’s hard to find the right person these days. So when you do, hold on to them tight.

Love who you are with, show them you love them, tell them you love them, and Stop Looking!

Jeremy EvertsComment